Tuesday, September 6, 2011

So, I was listening to TD Jakes earlier, catching up on all my podcasts...and I chose to listen to this one message titled THE LEADER IN YOU, or something like that. (this is from 2009)
He brought out the TRUTH. He was teaching on how we leaders have to learn to deal with adversity and so much drama in life...and the only way that we can truly do that is thru being tested and our tests will keep on coming until we pass them!! 
So, as I was listening to him, my spirit was just FILLED cuz it was almost as if he was speaking to me.  
Anyhow, leaders come up against all sorts of tests and trials, whether you're in church, work, at home or w/family & friends.  Leaders will always face challenges and it's how we respond to them on the ground level that matters.  IF we get all crazy, emotional & reactionary, then we can't get to the next level of equipping, to become the top level leader.
Bishop Jakes used an example that was so profound to me, cuz this is almost exactly what has been going on with the marbles in my head...they've been mashing around in my brain for the last couple months and quite naturally, I've been getting stuck on the fact that PEOPLE ARE A TRIP and the same people that we allow to come into our lives are the VERY PEOPLE THAT HURT US THE MOST!!
So for me, I've been very let down by several people in my life that are supposed to be very close to me.  As I continue to reach to HELP them, they continue to HURT me!!  I've been beating myself up for this for...oh, about..... let's say SEVERAL MONTHS NOW.  (This is where the marbles come in) cuz I'm racking them up in my head like, "why is this going on, what did I do to them...why are they treating me like this....did I hurt them, did I speak my opinions too much, too loud, too abrasive...what?"
It's not me though.  It's how people are.  It's who they are, what they stand for, and what's their motive in their realtionship with you. 
THAT IS WHERE we, as leaders, are tested. 
WE have to not look AT people, or TO people, but rather, look at OURSELVES and how we will handle the people that walk in and out of our lives.  WE have to learn to not judge the actions of the current situation, but we have to learn to love these people that we have come INTO our lives and LOVE them when they go OUT of our lives. 
What happens though...is that we get caught up in the fact that "I just wanted to help them, or lead them, or show them.....and they didn't listen, or follow or want my help, blah blah blah".  YESSSS...that is the thing!!  NATURAL BORN LEADERS do exactly that... WE LEAD.  This is precisely WHY people come into our lives.  It's not about US.  They aren't there for US.  They are there for what WE can do FOR THEM!!  They are attracted to our leadership.
So, Bishop broke it down like this...he said ther are 3 categories of people:

1.) "CONFIDANTES"

2.) "CONSTITUENTS"

3.) "SCAFFOLDING"

Just so I don't get too long winded, I'm gonna break it down like this....
If you have 3 "CONFIDANTES" in your entire LIFETIME, you're doing "WELL".  Cuz confidantes are the people that are there for you for it ALL.  They are there when you're short, fat, skinny or tall.  They are the ones that are w/you when you're ugly, broke and stankin' OR when you're workin', stylin' & proflin' and all that to society.  Confidantes, quite simply, are there BECAUSE OF YOU.  PERIOD, end of story.  They love you cuz of WHO YOU ARE, and they love you BECAUSE of WHO you are.  So, they never falter, never waiver, never leave....cuz they are all about YOU.  So, when you get a big title or money or whatever, they aren't blowin' in the wind...they are there.  When you're eatin' top ramen & brushin' your teeth w/your finger and a piece of gum....they are there. 
"CONSTITUENTS"...they are there JUST LIKE A CONFIDANTE. In fact, as Bishop said, they can get you REALLY CONFUSED...cuz they walk like a confidante, they talk like one, but they aren't REALLY there for YOU.  They are there for WHAT YOU DO.  Your mission.  Constituents support your mission.  They support what you do...for them first, and if you aren't getting them to their destination quick enough & someone else comes along that will, these constituents leave you....cuz it wasn't ever about YOU.  It was about what YOU DO!!  There is a difference.
"SCAFFOLDING"....they are just that...if you look @ scaffolding, it's up tight against the walls of the building....while the building is being BUILT.  But once the building is built, the scaffolding comes down, and it leaves....cuz there's nothing else for the scaffolding to do for the building.  Well, people are the same way.  Some people come in our lives SPECIFICALLY TO GET US TO OUR DESTINY and then they are gone.
Now...the true testing and proof of achievement and development of the leader is HOW THEY RESPOND to these people!!  The problem is that we get CONFIDANTES and CONSTITUENTS mixed up, so when the confidante is there by our side, we get caught up w/the constituent...cuz remember, they walk the same, they talk the same, but their MOTIVES are different. 
The confidante is there cuz of YOU.  They are all about YOU.  But the constituent, it's all about WHAT YOU DO...for them.  We can't get caught up in the constituents...and as leaders, we have to learn to kiss them goodbye in love and not be hurt, not be angered, not be bitter, not be judgmental, but LOVING so we can honestly look them in the face, know that they are there in our lives cuz of their motive....and that's THEIR ISSUE...not ours...we are to just continue to love them unconditionally and when it's time for them to leave, cuz our help is no longer any good, cuz someone better has come along...that we kiss them goodbye in love!
Ain't this good?  I don't know if you're following or not, but this was a profound teaching for me this evening...cuz I've seen that I've been failing my test in this area of leadership, cuz I've been trying to hold onto constituents when I really just need my confidantes!!!
He said if we have 3 in our lifetime...thats LIFETIME...then, we are doing good.  Well you know what?  I have 2 already.  Those are the 2 that I spent ringing in 2009 with.  You can say it's ironic....but I find it profound.  I view this as God showing me, as he did when He gave me my husband....He's showing me that if I will just LET GOD BE GOD, that He alone will place the right people in my path...to get me to my destiny.....and the people that will stay for ME and those that will come along for what I will DO.
The work of the Holy SPirit is to teach me, to have a pure heart, to kiss them when they come in and love them as they go out.  It's just my hope, that I'll be a blessing to all of them and that , somehow, along the way, I will be one of those people in THEIR LIVES that helps them get closer to their destiny. After all, that's what having a purpose and a passion is all about.  I think 2009 is going to be a good year.
Once again, I'm signing off for the nite...and last time I checked, God was still on the throne and Jesus STILL sits at the right hand of the Father, interceding for ME...and YOU...if you will just let Him in!

One love baby...one love.
P.S.  If you read THIS FAR....ask yourself this question...."WHO AM I? AM I A CONFIDANTE, CONSTITUENT or SCAFFOLDING?"  You may surprise yourself in this self examination. :O)  If you find you're not what you desire to be....do something TODAY to change your negative mindset, sadness, bitterness and insecurities.  You'll thank yourself !!

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