Thursday, January 31, 2013
It's been awhile....
Well, it's been almost a little over a year since we've posted on this blog. I think it's time to get moving though. There are too many of us out there, going thru life right now.
I know, that we have alot to be thankful for.
But, I also know that Ruth and Priscilla have a whole lot more to teach you all. So, stay tuned for the next quarter.
May His loving arms KEEP you, in HIS perfect peace. Just because you're going through something doesn't mean that He's not with you. Sometimes, the teacher has to remain silent, through the test. Remember that. BUT His Word says that He's with you ALWAYS and never will leave you, nor forsake you.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
So, I was listening to TD Jakes earlier, catching up on all my podcasts...and I chose to listen to this one message titled THE LEADER IN YOU, or something like that. (this is from 2009)
He brought out the TRUTH. He was teaching on how we leaders have to learn to deal with adversity and so much drama in life...and the only way that we can truly do that is thru being tested and our tests will keep on coming until we pass them!!
So, as I was listening to him, my spirit was just FILLED cuz it was almost as if he was speaking to me.
Anyhow, leaders come up against all sorts of tests and trials, whether you're in church, work, at home or w/family & friends. Leaders will always face challenges and it's how we respond to them on the ground level that matters. IF we get all crazy, emotional & reactionary, then we can't get to the next level of equipping, to become the top level leader.
Bishop Jakes used an example that was so profound to me, cuz this is almost exactly what has been going on with the marbles in my head...they've been mashing around in my brain for the last couple months and quite naturally, I've been getting stuck on the fact that PEOPLE ARE A TRIP and the same people that we allow to come into our lives are the VERY PEOPLE THAT HURT US THE MOST!!
So for me, I've been very let down by several people in my life that are supposed to be very close to me. As I continue to reach to HELP them, they continue to HURT me!! I've been beating myself up for this for...oh, about..... let's say SEVERAL MONTHS NOW. (This is where the marbles come in) cuz I'm racking them up in my head like, "why is this going on, what did I do to them...why are they treating me like this....did I hurt them, did I speak my opinions too much, too loud, too abrasive...what?"
It's not me though. It's how people are. It's who they are, what they stand for, and what's their motive in their realtionship with you.
THAT IS WHERE we, as leaders, are tested.
WE have to not look AT people, or TO people, but rather, look at OURSELVES and how we will handle the people that walk in and out of our lives. WE have to learn to not judge the actions of the current situation, but we have to learn to love these people that we have come INTO our lives and LOVE them when they go OUT of our lives.
What happens though...is that we get caught up in the fact that "I just wanted to help them, or lead them, or show them.....and they didn't listen, or follow or want my help, blah blah blah". YESSSS...that is the thing!! NATURAL BORN LEADERS do exactly that... WE LEAD. This is precisely WHY people come into our lives. It's not about US. They aren't there for US. They are there for what WE can do FOR THEM!! They are attracted to our leadership.
So, Bishop broke it down like this...he said ther are 3 categories of people:
1.) "CONFIDANTES"
2.) "CONSTITUENTS"
3.) "SCAFFOLDING"
Just so I don't get too long winded, I'm gonna break it down like this....
If you have 3 "CONFIDANTES" in your entire LIFETIME, you're doing "WELL". Cuz confidantes are the people that are there for you for it ALL. They are there when you're short, fat, skinny or tall. They are the ones that are w/you when you're ugly, broke and stankin' OR when you're workin', stylin' & proflin' and all that to society. Confidantes, quite simply, are there BECAUSE OF YOU. PERIOD, end of story. They love you cuz of WHO YOU ARE, and they love you BECAUSE of WHO you are. So, they never falter, never waiver, never leave....cuz they are all about YOU. So, when you get a big title or money or whatever, they aren't blowin' in the wind...they are there. When you're eatin' top ramen & brushin' your teeth w/your finger and a piece of gum....they are there.
"CONSTITUENTS"...they are there JUST LIKE A CONFIDANTE. In fact, as Bishop said, they can get you REALLY CONFUSED...cuz they walk like a confidante, they talk like one, but they aren't REALLY there for YOU. They are there for WHAT YOU DO. Your mission. Constituents support your mission. They support what you do...for them first, and if you aren't getting them to their destination quick enough & someone else comes along that will, these constituents leave you....cuz it wasn't ever about YOU. It was about what YOU DO!! There is a difference.
"SCAFFOLDING"....they are just that...if you look @ scaffolding, it's up tight against the walls of the building....while the building is being BUILT. But once the building is built, the scaffolding comes down, and it leaves....cuz there's nothing else for the scaffolding to do for the building. Well, people are the same way. Some people come in our lives SPECIFICALLY TO GET US TO OUR DESTINY and then they are gone.
Now...the true testing and proof of achievement and development of the leader is HOW THEY RESPOND to these people!! The problem is that we get CONFIDANTES and CONSTITUENTS mixed up, so when the confidante is there by our side, we get caught up w/the constituent...cuz remember, they walk the same, they talk the same, but their MOTIVES are different.
The confidante is there cuz of YOU. They are all about YOU. But the constituent, it's all about WHAT YOU DO...for them. We can't get caught up in the constituents...and as leaders, we have to learn to kiss them goodbye in love and not be hurt, not be angered, not be bitter, not be judgmental, but LOVING so we can honestly look them in the face, know that they are there in our lives cuz of their motive....and that's THEIR ISSUE...not ours...we are to just continue to love them unconditionally and when it's time for them to leave, cuz our help is no longer any good, cuz someone better has come along...that we kiss them goodbye in love!
Ain't this good? I don't know if you're following or not, but this was a profound teaching for me this evening...cuz I've seen that I've been failing my test in this area of leadership, cuz I've been trying to hold onto constituents when I really just need my confidantes!!!
He said if we have 3 in our lifetime...thats LIFETIME...then, we are doing good. Well you know what? I have 2 already. Those are the 2 that I spent ringing in 2009 with. You can say it's ironic....but I find it profound. I view this as God showing me, as he did when He gave me my husband....He's showing me that if I will just LET GOD BE GOD, that He alone will place the right people in my path...to get me to my destiny.....and the people that will stay for ME and those that will come along for what I will DO.
The work of the Holy SPirit is to teach me, to have a pure heart, to kiss them when they come in and love them as they go out. It's just my hope, that I'll be a blessing to all of them and that , somehow, along the way, I will be one of those people in THEIR LIVES that helps them get closer to their destiny. After all, that's what having a purpose and a passion is all about. I think 2009 is going to be a good year.
Once again, I'm signing off for the nite...and last time I checked, God was still on the throne and Jesus STILL sits at the right hand of the Father, interceding for ME...and YOU...if you will just let Him in!
One love baby...one love.
P.S. If you read THIS FAR....ask yourself this question...."WHO AM I? AM I A CONFIDANTE, CONSTITUENT or SCAFFOLDING?" You may surprise yourself in this self examination. :O) If you find you're not what you desire to be....do something TODAY to change your negative mindset, sadness, bitterness and insecurities. You'll thank yourself !!
Monday, December 13, 2010
A Secret Loses It's Power
From Ruth and Priscilla:
How our hearts ache for the suffering of our sisters, for we know all about brokenness. We have felt that indescribable pain, the wracking grief, the tonnage of guilt on our hearts! We know what it is to have made decisions that would cast their shadow over every moment of our lives thereafter. We have lived the secret shame, suffered through the wondering of whether or not those we love the most would still love us if they but knew who we really were inside.
And you, our sister that is reading this today, do you know that kind of pain, no matter what the secret in your life is? We have seen so many women suffering, holding on to the undisclosed hurts in their lives like a lifeline, afraid to let go. For if we were free of the guilt, the shame, the pain, what then would we do? If we allowed ourselves to start believing for one moment that we were undeserving our of self-inflicted punishment, what would that mean?
If freedom from those burdens is what you seek, we would like to offer what we have experienced, what we have learned, to you, because we have been blessed to find some true freedom and healing from the bondage of our pasts. We are not professional counselors, nor are we pastors or ministers. We are women who have found, by the grace of God and mutual support what we believe to be the path to liberty. We have found some answers that are working for us. And we believe that in sharing this information, we can help others place their feet on the same path.
Do you want to begin to break the power of the secrets of the past over your life? Shine the light of the truth on them! Does that sound terrifying to you like it did to me? It had just never occurred to me that someone in my life could know the truth and still love and accept me. My belief in the necessity of secrecy was so deeply imbedded in my heart and mind, I simply thought my counselor was insane...he was telling me to choose someone I trusted and tell my secret! My shame and guilt were my constant companions...I wasn't sure I would know how to live outside of the prison I had built of them. I didn't have a clue what it was costing me to keep my secret, I just kept choking it down. So much of my emotional energy was being drained, and I wasn’t even aware of it. I took the first step toward healing when I was given one of the most powerful truths I have ever been given:
A secret loses its power when it is no longer a secret.
I did what had been suggested to me: I carefully and thoughtfully chose the person I would reveal my secret to, someone I trusted. It is never advisable to share your story with just anyone. Your story is so personal, so precious, it should always be treated with the respect it deserves, so always be cautious about whom you entrust it to.
In my situation, it was not an option for me to choose my then husband as that person. So, I chose my best friend, someone who had already entrusted her story to me. I don’t know if I can describe what a revelation it was to me to trust someone with my past and have that person tell me in no uncertain terms that she still loved me and accepted me, that knowing about my secret had not changed the way she looked at me or her respect for me.
I began to feel a freedom I didn’t know existed, hadn’t known was missing, had no clue I had been thirsting for all of my adult life! I felt like I could breathe again! It was truly the first step toward healing. There was still the journey in front of me, but I had set my feet on the path. Breaking the power of that secret over my life opened a door I had lost hope in ever finding….the door to freedom and peace in my heart.
Please let me reiterate…be careful, thoughtful and take your time in choosing the person to whom you reveal your story. Your story is unique, it is very much your own, and should never be shared with someone who has not proven themselves worthy of your trust. I would advise that it never be placed on any social network. If you choose to “talk” with Priscilla and I, please do so anonymously, and choose a different name than you own to use, as we have.
Please know that what you read here is the truth as we know it, as we have experienced it, and our true heart’s desire is to share our stories, our hard-won knowledge and understanding, and to let you know, our sisters in this life, that we already love you and accept you, no matter what your story is. There is always hope, there is always light even in the darkest places, and we reach out with our hearts and our hands to offer the hope and the light we have found.
Love and blessings! Ruth
How our hearts ache for the suffering of our sisters, for we know all about brokenness. We have felt that indescribable pain, the wracking grief, the tonnage of guilt on our hearts! We know what it is to have made decisions that would cast their shadow over every moment of our lives thereafter. We have lived the secret shame, suffered through the wondering of whether or not those we love the most would still love us if they but knew who we really were inside.
And you, our sister that is reading this today, do you know that kind of pain, no matter what the secret in your life is? We have seen so many women suffering, holding on to the undisclosed hurts in their lives like a lifeline, afraid to let go. For if we were free of the guilt, the shame, the pain, what then would we do? If we allowed ourselves to start believing for one moment that we were undeserving our of self-inflicted punishment, what would that mean?
If freedom from those burdens is what you seek, we would like to offer what we have experienced, what we have learned, to you, because we have been blessed to find some true freedom and healing from the bondage of our pasts. We are not professional counselors, nor are we pastors or ministers. We are women who have found, by the grace of God and mutual support what we believe to be the path to liberty. We have found some answers that are working for us. And we believe that in sharing this information, we can help others place their feet on the same path.
Do you want to begin to break the power of the secrets of the past over your life? Shine the light of the truth on them! Does that sound terrifying to you like it did to me? It had just never occurred to me that someone in my life could know the truth and still love and accept me. My belief in the necessity of secrecy was so deeply imbedded in my heart and mind, I simply thought my counselor was insane...he was telling me to choose someone I trusted and tell my secret! My shame and guilt were my constant companions...I wasn't sure I would know how to live outside of the prison I had built of them. I didn't have a clue what it was costing me to keep my secret, I just kept choking it down. So much of my emotional energy was being drained, and I wasn’t even aware of it. I took the first step toward healing when I was given one of the most powerful truths I have ever been given:
A secret loses its power when it is no longer a secret.
I did what had been suggested to me: I carefully and thoughtfully chose the person I would reveal my secret to, someone I trusted. It is never advisable to share your story with just anyone. Your story is so personal, so precious, it should always be treated with the respect it deserves, so always be cautious about whom you entrust it to.
In my situation, it was not an option for me to choose my then husband as that person. So, I chose my best friend, someone who had already entrusted her story to me. I don’t know if I can describe what a revelation it was to me to trust someone with my past and have that person tell me in no uncertain terms that she still loved me and accepted me, that knowing about my secret had not changed the way she looked at me or her respect for me.
I began to feel a freedom I didn’t know existed, hadn’t known was missing, had no clue I had been thirsting for all of my adult life! I felt like I could breathe again! It was truly the first step toward healing. There was still the journey in front of me, but I had set my feet on the path. Breaking the power of that secret over my life opened a door I had lost hope in ever finding….the door to freedom and peace in my heart.
Please let me reiterate…be careful, thoughtful and take your time in choosing the person to whom you reveal your story. Your story is unique, it is very much your own, and should never be shared with someone who has not proven themselves worthy of your trust. I would advise that it never be placed on any social network. If you choose to “talk” with Priscilla and I, please do so anonymously, and choose a different name than you own to use, as we have.
Please know that what you read here is the truth as we know it, as we have experienced it, and our true heart’s desire is to share our stories, our hard-won knowledge and understanding, and to let you know, our sisters in this life, that we already love you and accept you, no matter what your story is. There is always hope, there is always light even in the darkest places, and we reach out with our hearts and our hands to offer the hope and the light we have found.
Love and blessings! Ruth
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Who We Are
Hello and welcome to our blog!
We are Ruth and Priscilla and we are Loving Arms Ministries! We truly are REAL women with REAL answers.
We would like to extend the same loving arms that embraced us and placed us on the path to freedom. We firmly believe that no matter where you are today and what choices you've made in the past, you can find healing through the shared experiences of other women.
We all have a story to tell, each one is unique and worthy of being shared. It's through this love and acceptance that we all can experience healing and freedom from our pasts; no matter what we have done!!!
We are Ruth and Priscilla and we are Loving Arms Ministries! We truly are REAL women with REAL answers.
We would like to extend the same loving arms that embraced us and placed us on the path to freedom. We firmly believe that no matter where you are today and what choices you've made in the past, you can find healing through the shared experiences of other women.
We all have a story to tell, each one is unique and worthy of being shared. It's through this love and acceptance that we all can experience healing and freedom from our pasts; no matter what we have done!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)